Should I just take responsibility for my own actions?
Placing a child for adoption is not avoiding responsibility. Evaluating the choices for your pregnancy and child is very mature and shows responsibility. There are many things to consider when making your decision:
- financial situation
- family support
- educational possibilities
- stability in relationships
- commitments to and from the baby’s father and your long-term chances for successful parenting.
- You will be able to choose a family that will be able to give your child the ideal upbringing you want. Doing that is showing a tremendous amount of responsibility.
Am I making the right decision with adoption?
Birth parents make this unselfish sacrifice because they love their unborn child. They recognize that the baby may have to be raised by other parents for many different and intensely personal reasons. They are always motivated by a desire to ensure a loving and happy home for their child.
Will I be sad giving up my child for adoption?
Yes. But it is normal to feel sad about the decision you will need to make. Making a decision to place your child up for adoption after bonding with and carrying them for nine months will obviously be difficult.
With adoption there is also the positive impact your decisions will have on many lives including your own. You can feel empowered knowing that you made a responsible decision for your child. When you consider your options and make the decision of adoption you can look back on it and know you made an educated decision. You can also have confidence that you have chosen a family who can give the care you desire for your child.
The choice of adoption can have a positive impact on you too, and it gives you the freedom to pursue your dreams.
How will I know that my baby will have a happy life?
Life does not come with guarantees for anyone. But you can make decisions that offer your child opportunities. You will be able to choose the family that adopts your child. They will have the financial means and social resources to give your child the best life possible. You can meet the family and agree on the adoption terms you want including communication, contact and your ability to stay informed about your child.
What if my family is NOT accepting of a decision for adoption?
Family traditions can be important and a strong part of your family. It takes courage to make a decision to go against the expectations of family members. Adoption may be a choice family members have difficulty accepting. You need to make a choice based on the care of your child, not what your family wants. Family members typically lose interest with providing support and caring for the baby after a short period of time. Therefore you have to make a choice that is best for you and your baby, not what is best for your family. Our social workers can also talk to your family and offer them counseling also.
What if my friends think I should keep the baby?
Your friends may feel that keeping the baby is what is best for you. But you need to think about “What is best for my child?” Becoming a mother will change your life dramatically. Your friends will not share in the commitment and financial responsibility it requires to raise and care for your child. Your friends will have different priorities than you. They have their own plans for their future and cannot commit to always live nearby or to help you. Neither will they be willing to give up a date with a boyfriend to babysit so you can go out.
While the emotional support of friends is great, their input should not be considered in your decision. They should be supportive of you and the choices you make.
Have I explored all my options?
Pregnancy can affect your feelings and emotions. Are you thinking about adoption only because you have money problems, or because your living situation is difficult? If so, there might be other answers. Have you called Social Services to see what they can do? Have you asked friends and family if they can help? Our Ohio Adoption Agency Social workers may be able to help you find a way to parent your baby if that is your decision. For instance, they may be able to help with finding a place to live or job training.
If you need additional resources to assist you with parenting, please call our Ohio Adoption Agency for more guidance.
Is it too late to make an adoption plan for my child who is already born?
It is never too late to make an adoption plan. We have many families that are open to parenting a child who is not necessarily a newborn. Families are open to adopting children of all ages. Call or email us and we will counsel and guide you through the steps of making an adoption plan.
Can the birthmother choose the adoptive parents?
Yes. Building Blocks Adoption Agency provides confidential parent profiles created by prospective adoptive parents for the birth parents to review. The birthmother may speak with the family by telephone and/ or meet the family along with an adoption social worker.
Have I involved the baby’s father in thinking about adoption?
You need to know what the laws in your State say about the father’s rights, responsibilities, and role in adoption. Most states require that the father—or the man you think is the father—be told about the baby before the adoption. This is true even if you aren’t married to the father.
Are you married?
If you are married and your husband is not the baby’s father, your husband may still have legal rights, responsibilities, and a role in the adoption.
Your baby’s father (or your husband) may have to sign legal papers agreeing to the adoption—giving “legal consent”—before you can place your child. There are also laws requiring the father to pay child support if you decide to parent your baby.
In some states, if the parents are not married, the father has a certain amount of time to put his name on the State’s “putative father registry” to claim that he is the baby’s father. In other States, the father may be required to take other legal action to claim his rights as a father. If he doesn’t do this within a certain amount of time, he may not receive notice of the mother’s decision to place the child for adoption. If you don’t know the father’s name or where he is, some States require that a notice be published before the adoption can be completed. The notice is published in a newspaper in a place where the father is likely to see it. A licensed adoption agency or qualified adoption lawyer can explain to you what is required in your State.
Explanation of rights
If you’re thinking about adoption, your agency or lawyer should be able to explain your State’s laws about the father’s role. In a few cases, agencies or lawyers have pushed through adoptions without telling the father and getting his consent. In some of these cases, the court has legally overturned the adoption and awarded custody of the baby to the father. Any agency or lawyer working with you must obey the law and obtain the father’s consent if needed. If your agency or lawyer is not willing to do this, you may want to go somewhere else.
If you have a good relationship with your baby’s father, he may be a source of support for you. You may be able to help each other in making this decision. The father of your baby may be asking some of the same questions about adoption that you are asking.
In the State of Ohio, Our Ohio Adoption Agency will guide you through each step of the process.
Need my own family and the family of the father be part of the decision?
In a few States, if you are under 12 of age (it depends on the State), your own parent or parents may also have to give permission for you to place your baby for adoption. Laws vary, and you need to find out the consent laws in your State.
If you decide to go ahead with adoption, there may even be someone in your family or the father’s family who would like to adopt your baby.
Do the prospective adoptive parents have to live in Ohio?
No. Building Blocks Adoption Service can assist adoptive families all over the U.S.
Does the birthmother have to pay legal fees and expenses?
No! All legal fees, some living expenses and medical expenses can be paid for by the adopting parents.
Can the birthmother see the baby after the birth of their child?
Absolutely. The birthmother can determine whether or not she wants to see the child once the baby is born. Some birth parents choose to spend some time with their child while some may not. Many of these aspects of the adoption are part of your own adoption plan.
Can I receive updates about the baby after adoption?
Yes. If the adoptive parents and birth parents decide to share information over the years either via in person or sending photos and letters they may do so. Ohio does provide for some limited open adoptions.
Do I need to go to court?
The birth parents must appear in court to acknowledge the placement of the child with the family and also to give their consent to the adoption before the Judge assigned to the case. These two are often accomplished at the same time.
What if I do not know who the birthfather of my unborn child is, can I still proceed with an adoption?
Definitely, under Ohio law if the birth father is not identified then the Courts will require that a registry known as the Putative Father Registry be checked. If the birth father has not registered within 30 days after the birth of your child then his consent will in most circumstances not be necessary.
Does the baby go to a foster home?
No. The baby goes directly from the hospital to the adoptive parents’ home so long as the Court has authorized a placement. The adoptive family must have a valid home study to accomplish this process.
Why do birth parents make adoption plans for their children?
Birth parents make this unselfish sacrifice because they love their unborn child and recognize that he or she may have to be raised by other parents for many different and intensely personal reasons.
Everyone’s situation is different, but many women (and their partners) choose to place their baby because they feel that the baby will have a better life in an adoptive home with parents who may be better prepared to care for a child.
They are always motivated by a desire to ensure a loving and happy home for their child.
These mothers feel that they are putting their baby’s best interests ahead of their own by placing their baby with parents who are ready to welcome a child and to love and provide for that child for at least 18 years.
How might I feel in 20 years if I place my child for adoption or if I parent my child myself?
While it’s impossible to know for sure how you will feel many years from now, you may want to consider the long-term effects of any decision you make. For instance, you may want to think about your future both with and without this child. What were your plans before you became pregnant? How would raising a child or placing a child for adoption change those plans? How might you feel if you go on to have other children and a family of your own?
Our Ohio adoption agency can guide you through every step of the notification process.